”“Mmm.” She nodded her head as she swallowed her food. “Me too.”I looked off to the side. “Yeah, but I know how you feel about ... I mean ... I would have slept on the couch, but I really didn’t want to, if you follow me.”She chuckled, and a slightly lecherous grin spread across her face. “The only reason I let you leave last night is because it’s that time of the month. Otherwise I would have asked. And you wouldn’t have slept on the couch, either.”A look of surprise overtook my face. “But ... what about ... I thought you didn’t...” I was perplexed by my hesitation and shyness, wondering why I was having so much trouble verbalizing this to someone to whom I had confessed my feelings just hours earlier.She looked away for a moment and sighed. “It’s hard to explain. Mostly what it is ... I don’t want to get used for sex anymore. I mean, you wouldn’t have recognized me two years ago, I don’t think. I was on telephone chat lines, in online chat rooms, talking to pretty much every guy who. I know that when man tells you to leave car he— it is not what you tell me will happen. And it is not proper that he tells you this, it is not right.”“How? How did you know?”I can find no way to speak this. I cannot say it is this thing or that thing. While I try to think of words I can say she breaks my thought.“Was it the way he smelled?” she asks. “His attitude? Did you look at his car?”I shrug; these were a part, though only small, but what are right words? “I know,” is all I can at last say. “It was not right.”“Just instinct then?”I ask her what is instinct, and she explains that it is feeling of animals that leads them to act without thinking. I know men may do in this way too, my reasons were not so but I can find no better way to speak it. I tell her yes, instinct.“Would you have done the same thing if you’d thought it was a real policeman?” she persists.“It was feeling I had from this man that makes me act so,” I tell her. “I do not know feeling of real police, so I cannot.
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