I couldn’t work this thing out alone, I needed to own up to and share my deeply mixed feelings.It’s always been a failing of mine, to take the world’s troubles on my shoulders and deal with it myself rather than asking for help. Even from Jill, my best friend and life mate. As I gave up the unequal fight to look totally enthusiastic, true to form, Jill was nothing but supportive and loving as she listened to my confession and we started working it out together.“Honey, you’re not telling me anything I didn’t already know,” she smiled tenderly at me. “I know how I’d feel if the shoe was on the other foot. If you were heading off into the sunset with Gemma or some other woman for several weeks. And besides, you’re not as good an actor as you think you are,” she added, lightening the mood.We held hands and talked it through, just one more difficulty we’d had to discuss and work-out in our many years together. With the dam now burst and my barriers down, I found it easy to tell Jill I was. Well, in a mannerof speaking. “You know what, let’s forget this conversationhappened. We’re going to be on the road the next week or so, thatvan’s going to get smaller by degrees if we bicker like this, solet’s call it a day. You win. I win. Nobody wins.” (Whatever thehell that meant!)I quickly washed my hands and started heading out the bathroomdoor. “I’m going to go for my ceremonial campgroundconstitutional. I’ve done it at every campground at which I’ve hadthe pleasure of staying. You can join me if you wish, maybe it’llbecome a tradition of yours. Or you can go back to the van.Lorelei’s probably made some herbal tea, you two can celebrate themoments of your life. See you when I get back.”I was out the door. I walked into the sunlight, proud of myselffor rising above that claptrap. I let the forest air cleanse me.Then, I headed out for my hike.Toby walked out behind me as the two of us parted ways; I.
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