“Before we first met, Shawn, I was a totally different girl. I wasn’t always the wild girl from high school. I was kind of subdued. When I was young my mom died. My dad wasn’t in the picture. I lived on the North side with my aunt, so when I first got all this, curves and all, it wasn’t surprising that I was looking for a man that would fall for me. But nope. You know our problems,” she said, showing her dark skin at me.I began to realize the error of my ways as she proceeded on with her story. ”They all said ‘You’re pretty for a dark-skinned girl.’ all that crap. Backhanded-ass compliment, if you ask me.”I kept looking at her. I had no idea that she had these issues. She was so sexy to me. I did not think of this.“So eventually, I said: ‘That’s some bullshit.’ I got a new glow. I had a new confidence to myself. I didn’t care what anybody said anymore. Eventually, I got the looks I wanted. Boys looked and said: ‘Ohhh…’ Including you, Shawn,” he said. I smiled sheepishly. She. I tell you these things not to justify my behavior, but so you can understand the state of mind I was in. Did I really want to look back at seventy and say of my life that I had worked very hard and that my children and husband seemed pretty happy? What about me?I knew I had a problem, but how to solve it? I could ease off at work to make more time for whatever else I wanted to do. But I was ambitious and couldn't accept stalling at this level. I couldn't cut back much more on the relationship with my husband or there wouldn't be any more to cut back on. I couldn't ignore the needs of the girls. In just a year Janet would be in college and Brianna would follow the next year. Somebody had to do the housework. Where was the time for me to come from?Before you jump to the conclusion that Garrett is not pulling his weight, he plants the garden and cleans it up in the fall. He shovels the snow, mows the lawn and paints the house when it needs it. He repairs whatever needs repairing. He.
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