DATING (Outside the Family)1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested:"I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.THEATER ETIQUETTE1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.WEDDINGS1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.DRIVING. She’s president of the War College. And by the way — and she doesn’t even know this — the relevant faculty here at the Academy are all now enrolled in her courses. I suppose it could get pretty dull taking a course in a subject that you taught to your professor.“But there’s more. I spoke a moment ago about her schedule this summer. She’s unavailable. She has an additional assignment serving as senior advisor on strategy and tactics to a joint congressional committee that is restructuring our entire armed forces. The two co-chairmen insist she’s absolutely irreplaceable. So we’ll have to finesse strategy. What else?“Leadership! There we go. We’ll teach her leadership!” The President paused and looked over the sea of faces, then continued, “The hell we will! No one can teach Kelly Jackson about leadership! She is a specialist in small-unit operations. Sort of the efficient female approach to things. She won the war in Europe with three other people! That’s right: people! I didn’t say.
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