Last night with Jacob was unexpected and had felt raw and powerful. Tonight, is going to be different. It is intentional and the anticipation is very erotic. I step out of the room for the stairs and my heart is racing. My heels click on each hardwood tread of the stairs announcing my approach. This is someone I only met this morning by name. Another young man … another ghost. I don’t know who it is yet. That was part of it. The unknown. I am arriving to discover who it is I am giving myself to this night. How erotic is that?I turn into the living room from the stairs after passing through the entryway and … find no one. No … I am dress to stop a male’s heart and my body and mind are on fire with the idea of what I am intending.“Hello? Are you here?”From the right side by the window looking onto the covered porch, “I’m … I’m here … yes … Ma’am.”I turn to the voice but still don’t see him. “You have to show yourself. This won’t work unless you materialize. Are you. " I sat down across from her."You want some?" she held up the cluster."Sure," I reached out but she snatched them back."Get your own." She pointed at the fridge."So you talk to Jenny lately?" I knew this was about something," she replied with a little laugh."So have you?" I asked. It was hard to come straight out and say what was on my mind especially when it came to relationships. As far as I could tell, it wasn't like girls were Miss Direct when it came to their own relationships. Wasn't that why girls spent all that time together talking about boys?"No," she said. She held up the cluster and pulled a grape off with her lips."Oh," I said in a mild funk."Problems?" I don't know," I said with an exaggerated exhale. "I mean our first week since we broke up was great. Jenny came over two times for..." I faltered."Sex?" Maddux filled in.I could speak openly to Maddux about sex, but it was never easy. She was my sister I was talking to after all. " ... and it was great like normal, but.
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