Wrong. He quickly pulled out and came on my back, and I was thankful for that, but the only reason he did, was that he wanted my insides dry so I would suffer more for what was coming next. They then mixed a bottle of hot sauce in half a corona, shook it up, and rammed it up my a--. That was the absolute worst pain in my life. It just kept getting stronger and stronger. The Monster man then put his c--k in my hands so I could feel the size of it, and then must have put on a condom, because they wiped the outside of my a--hole so he wouldn’t get burned, and he proceeded to stick what felt like a tree trunk or a telephone pole up my a--. He f'ed me, and f'ed me, until I fortunately passed out from the pain. When I came to, it was getting daylight, and I was alone, and glad to be alive. I felt like I had been run over, and gang banged, which I had. I felt pain inside me, and from my c--k, which I found out at the hospital that someone had chewed on it like a dog, including my. It’s hard to be in a civil much less happy mood when you constantly hurt. It wears on you. Then there’s the anxiety that comes from the fallout of the illness. I.E. paying bills with little money. Trying to maintain relationships. Worries about the future and if you have one.Every now and then though, things ease up a bit. You don’t hurt so much. You’re mind is a little clearer and you find a smile on your face. That’s me at the moment. My head hurts and I had to leave work early because I went totally mute. But I’m not shaking and I don’t need my cane and my wife’s not crying or yelling at me. I feel relatively happy. I had a nap and a bowl of chili with some shredded cheese in it.Last night I was a little down and feeling envious which is an emotion I try to avoid like the plague. It’s almost as poisonous as bitterness which will kill your soul. I was envious because there’s all these people who can make choices and I can’t. Oh, I can make the choices, but I don’t have the power to.
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