He understood and gave me all the time I needed.Once I was settled I drove back to Jacksonville to arrange the divorce process. It has been a month since I left and I have to say that things started looking positive in a different way. I was still distraught over Lisa, but I was learning to get on with life. Simplicity; get up, remember to breathe in and out, and do my job. I know it is a sad existence, but it is better than the last month with Lisa.I hired a well-known lawyer and discussed with him what my wishes were. He informed me that this would take about 5 months to be final so I would have to be patient."Is there a way to get through this and not have to see her?" I asked."Normally no, but since you are making such an overly generous offer I think it might be possible. You would have to do a limited Power of Attorney to take care of the estate and documentation."We worked up the paperwork and the restrictions were that he didn't sign anything without my personal consent. I. The question was how far? I looked at my body with a small, but variable layer of fat over my abdominal muscles and the thickness of those muscles. I wanted to get the blade just inside the abdominal cavity just to see if I could.I have a knife with a five inch blade. It is a Gerber dagger with a very sharp double edge and not too wide. Even going 1.25 inches, it would cause a wound only .5 inches wide or so. I measured off 1.25 inches and put several layers of duct tape on the blade as a safety stop. This would absolutely guarantee that the blade would stop at the desired depth. I was confident in my calculations and would just look at the blade, review my movie from last year and get giddy and nervous and excited imagining the blade going into my gut.This was around the 2nd week of July. I need to do this by the 23rd. I was so ready and getting myself worked up psychologically for the annual ritual. To be honest, just the thought of a piece of hard, cold steel blade entering my.
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