And on the other side, the one who gave me my "programming", my dirt, my disordered relationship to my mom, and women, the one who I call for my whole life "uncle", the one who taught me side by side with my grandpa, his dad-in-law, all these wonderful things, brutality, leadership, sadism, how to play with others minds and bodies, those who affected me in my understanding for mom, this cheap SLUT, this WHORE, CUMDUMP and BITCH, that I love as a son, like my legal dad taught me, but in the same way the one that I dispise, like to torture, to use, to abuse, to fuck and to sell.From the beginning, I was made, well let me describe it with a "little forced persuasion" of my mom, that needed to accept, that she would love to be deflowered by her boyfriend's dad and her boyfriend's brother-in-law, in the age of 15, in a night when my legal dad wasn't at her side. This night or a following one, when they trained mom to be a good whore, my uncle impregnated mom with me, something I. ’ ‘Was it the pain in your leg?’ ‘No, something quite different,’ he laughed nervously. ‘I must say something to you, and I hope you do not think me mad.’ ‘What is it?’ He stepped forward to take my hands in his, looked into my eyes, and then haltingly he began to speak. ‘Anna, I did not sleep last night because I could not bear to let you out of my sight. I couldn’t close my eyes for fear of waking and finding you gone. I have never been more content than when I held you in my arms last night, and when you fell asleep, it was all I could do to let you go.’ My breath caught in my throat as he continued. ‘I have never been a lonely person, but I feel that I shall never be complete unless I have you beside me.’ ‘Erich, I…’ ‘Anna, I want you to come with me. Forget your transfer, forget the Red Cross Society and nursing and the war. Come with me to the farm.’ … My heart was pounding, my head spinning. This was madness. Could I really walk away from the misery of the war? Could I leave.
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