I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning." He said, "No, just taking a shit".2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.The Stuttering CatA teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students."Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!''That must've been scary, ' said the teacher.'It sure was, ' said the little girl. 'My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff! Ffffff! FfffffF!" but before she could say 'Fuck Off!' the Rottweiler. I mentioned a friend had some adult videos, and asked if she’d like to watch with me, she said sure. So I made arrangements with a friend, Tom. Tom lent me his VCR and several adult movies for the weekend. At the time, VCRs were very expensive and we didn’t have one yet. Of course I picked the weekend Meg and I would be home alone, our girls were with their grandparents. Friday, after work I picked up the VCR and tapes from Tom. While Meg prepared our dinner, I was busy setting up the VCR. We both got turned on watching the first movie and had great sex afterwards.Since we were home alone, we watched the second movie Saturday afternoon. The movie was about a gang breaking into a house, mother and daughters captured, and raped. The first scene was intense and a real turn on for me, but I didn’t see any response on Meg’s face, so I just continued watching. By the end of the second sex scene, Meg was all over me. When I reached down to feel her pussy, I found she was soaking.
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