“It’s not like I can give her virginity back.”“Just be prepared. It could be a very bumpy ride.”“I know. Can we just do some Spanish now?”It was a good session. I wasn’t fully concentrating, but she was satisfied with my effort. I checked to see if she and Pete were available Saturday, and if I could set something up with Anna. I needed a distraction and a simple date with Anna would be a good one. Melanie gave me a fantastic hug and a quick peck on the lips when I left. I really needed that, too.When I got home, I ate dinner in kind of a funk. Stephanie noticed, but Mom and Dad seemed to think I was just tired from the weekend and the mental stress of playing so much chess. When I excused myself, I went to my room and got out my journal. I wrote. I wrote everything that had happened. I wrote my feelings, my thoughts, and accusations against myself. I poured everything into it. I filled 8 pages. I was drained mentally, physically, and emotionally. But I had homework to do. I pulled. .woh boli that mujh se kaya puchhta hain tumhe pata nahi shadi ke baad kaya hota hain. Maine kaha meri kaun see shadi ho gayee hain didi…………………phir bhi ladke to sabh kuchh jaante hain main mand mand muskura raha tha.main dekha didi kuchh khayalo main kho gayee hain. Maine halke se uske booboo par hath rakh diya to woh chaunk gayee aur boli kaya bhaiyya yeh kaya kar rahe ho. Kuchh nahi didi shadi ke baad ka scene create karne kee koshsish kar raha hoon. Achha kah kar usne mera hath hata diya aur boli na bhai kuchh na karo. Main kaha didi aaj to tum bhi khush ho main bhi tumhari khusi main khus hoon kyon na iss khusi ko baant le.Woh kuchh nahi boli to maine phir uski chuchi par hath rakh diya par iss baar maine uski kameez ko upper karte hue uski chuchi par hath rakha. Halke halke main unko maslane laga. Woh halke halke sitkarne lagi uff bhaiyya mat karo ….dard ho raha hain……….maine kaha meri jaan iss dard main hee to maza hain dard ko bhul kar enjoy karne kee koshish karo……..woh.
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