" What I don't understand is your need to come home and fuck me every night after you were fucked by him."Again silence for a bit and then, "I don't know if you will understand this, but I didn't come home and fuck you. I had just been fucked and I came home and made love to you as a way of cleansing myself. Even when Tony was fucking me my mind was split in two pieces. One piece was the deliciously wicked feeling of forbidden sex and the wanton feeling of just rutting with another man. And the other piece was thinking of coming home and letting you make love to me and having the tenderness and caring that I got from you - two different worlds I guess." And tonight, when Tony brought Jeff in to help him?"I saw the shock register on her face, "You know? You've known all along?"I looked at her, "I knew before it happened. I could have stopped it at any time, but I love you enough to let you do what you want. I was sure you loved me enough to come home to me, but the next few steps in. That kindled their interest and I found a book with all sorts of military aircraft pictured and we would literally spend hours looking at them while I pointed out which ones I had flown in and where I was at the time.It took months of courting, always including the boys, for Jocelyn to begin to accept that I was serious in my intentions. While we had kissed and held each other when the children weren't present, we had no physical contact otherwise. I think that and my persistence provoked the thaw that led to her accepting me. I was happy that I had taken the time and the effort to convince her. Although we had not yet resumed making love, I wasn't discouraged. Just being with her was comforting and reinforced my resolve to make her my wife.It was on a weekend that Lawrence had the boys that everything changed. We had arranged to meet for lunch, and I was to pick her up at her apartment. When I arrived, she invited me in and took my coat. I saw that the dining room table had been set.
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