Of course I had known who it was from the moment I had heard her voice. I had spent my teen years talking to that voice over the phone long into the night about boys and hairstyles and ‘Did she really think she could backstab me like that?’ A voice that had impacted me in more ways than I will ever admit. A sort of husky, yet gentle, and sweet voice. How could I not remember? Of course I remembered. How could I have forgotten it? Mary. Mary’s. Mary’s where cats nuzzled you awake, the Margie’s candy story with 20 flavors of ice cream, Mexicorn from the local friendly Mexican store, chocolate peanut butter. Lots and lots of chocolate peanut butter. After the initial shock, the details of the death in the family and the house that was now left to her were quickly told through half-sobs and half-laughs. An entire decade re-told in what seemed like brief moments and quick sighs. ‘Madison it’s so good to talk to you again. You have no idea,’ she said towards the end of our conversation.. After all, no sense sending out the whole football team of sperm when just a few runners will do the trick.This is not to say that couples can’t stay monogamous and enjoy hot sex for many decades, but such couples often utilize the power of fantasy, either together or individually. But a long marriage that never even entertains the possibility of cuckoldry, i.e., another man having sex with the wife, is almost inevitably doomed to low sperm counts and comfortable boredom in the bedroom.What about jealousy? Sperm competition is exciting, reminding a man that his woman is worth fighting for, making his erection fighting hard. The danger is that jealousy, which is all tangled up with possessiveness, insecurity and fear, will add the wrong kind of fuel to the Sperm Wars fire, and all that fun fighting between sperm turns to real fighting between people. Even “retroactive jealousy” over past lovers or “fantasy jealousy” over future lovers or paranoid jealousy over imaginary lovers, might.
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