Chuck’s Favorite Foods:WhiskeySteel WoolSometimes when Chuck Norris gets tired of Whiskey or steel wool, he’ll eat bread, cheese, tomato paste and a handful of basil, which sounds like a pizza but it’s not because Chuck Norris doesn’t want to give the Italian’s credit.Chuck Norris EncountersOne time for Halloween I was trick or treating and I dressed up like a pussy because you are supposed to dress up in something you are not. I also figured that Chuck Norris would appreciate ironic humor.When I arrived at Chuck’s house it was a floating volcano with American Bald Eagles flying around it. I walked up the long staircase which seem like it took days. I knock on his door and the door automatically open up, there was Chuck Norris sitting on his throne naked with a red cape on and he was wearing on his finger a giant Diamond Ring that has Unicorn with a huge erection on it. I dared not to make eye contact with Chuck because if you do you will spontaneously combust. So I bowed my head. Running Fox settled down with the two Crow scouts, while I spent time with the women and the lieutenant. I sat facing the women so that I would know immediately if anyone needed anything, but the lieutenant, very embarrassedly, sat with his back to the women. I wanted to laugh, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. It was only later that I found out he was engaged to one of the women, but was going to cancel the engagement because she was no longer "pure." Had I known it at the time, I would probably have cut his throat!Every hour, I woke the women up to have them drink a cup of water. I was afraid that they would be in serious trouble from dehydration, and I was trying to fight that as best I could.I also found out later from Running Fox that this lieutenant was a real ass. The Crow scouts said that they had picked up the trail that first day and would have found the quarry before nightfall, but the lieutenant had ordered them in another direction and caused them to loose the.
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