Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.Q: What’s the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.Q: What’s the difference between lawyers and buzzards?A: Lawyers have removable wing tips.Q: What’s the definition of a lawyer?A: A mouth with a life support system.Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?A: No changes occur.Q: How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?A: The vultures aren’t gagging over the skunk.Q: What’s the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?A: Jewelry.Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?A: Their personalities.Q: What’s the definition of mixed emotions?A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light. So I escaped his embrace and sat up straight, shaking my head. ‘Are you going to bottle feed me?’ I asked, part of me hoping he’d say yes, part of me was curious and yearning for that warmth I felt just now, but another part of me was confused, grasping at straws trying to understand. ‘What are we doing, daddy?’ It must have been the confusion that made me call him daddy again, the panic and the confusion and the desire for him to help me make sense of it all. ‘You’re going to lie down in your daddy’s arms and you’re going to drink your milk.’ He said, gently pulling me back in that cradling embrace. He lifted up the bottle and splashed a little of the milk onto his wrist to test the warmth and then he bumped the nipple into my mouth. Instinctively I closed my lips around the silicon and suckled my mouth full of milk. Then I used my tongue to push the bottle away. ‘Is there drugs in the milk?’ I asked. ‘Those aren’t drugs.’ He said. ‘You know what I mean. Medicine.’ I.
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