“I’m beginning to have serious doubts you’re gay.” “Oh, I’m gay,” he sighed, pushing himself off the door jam. “I am so gay.” “Jordan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” I jogged across the hall. “I know you’re not hitting on McKinsey. I don’t know what got into me.” He sat on his bed, picking at a thumbnail. “I shouldn’t have said that. I just got claustrophobic and all… I mean… there was a giant in my room.” I hoped a feeble attempt at humor would bring him around. He smiled, “So weird, I was just across the hall and this little shrimp kept sayin' I was hittin' on his woman…” He stood up and his arms snaked around my back so fast I didn’t register it had happened. “I wouldn’t do that,” he whispered, his forehead pressed against mine. I closed my eyes—it was weird looking at someone so close. He must have just been chewing gum because I could smell the mint on his breath. I couldn’t stand it and opened my eyes again. His lips were so close, I could reach out and kiss them if I. Many stares, many mouths agape. Bella acted as if nothing wasout of the ordinary; her eyes were fixed to her math book."I suppose I should say something," Mrs. Chance said. "I'll trust thatyou can be mature young adults, and focus not on, for example, yourteacher's wardrobe or her hairstyle. This is a class, and we will allconduct ourselves appropriately."She went on to conduct a lesson, pass back tests, assign new homework,almost as if nothing were different. Except it was. She seemeddiminished. Resigned.After school, I sat on a bench near the parking lot waiting for Laurento finish cheer practice, which was running late. I saw Mrs. Chancewalking to her car. I felt guilty for thinking how terrible she lookedwith that haircut, and how her new outfit sort of made her ass seemhuge. I wondered if, despite her outward coolness, she was embarrassedon the inside. And why she couldn't take a stand and do something aboutit. She was an adult, after all. And wasn't she married? What would.
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