Plus, this way I can control fixing it all. I can somehow make this about me, instead of the reality, which was it had nothing to do with me. By making it somehow my fault that my husband didn’t want me, I could avoid the truth. The truth I couldn’t bare. I had been shut out of the romance in my husband’s life. Somehow I had to get myself out of that dark place. I hopped in the bath and shook my head to knock some common sense into me. It was entirely unacceptable for me to go there. If my husband did not want me any more because I was no longer young, and my body showed the transformation baring our children had forced, then I didn’t want him. And it didn’t make any sense. Peter wasn’t like that. But then I didn’t think it was like him to take a lover either. And a younger lover! I was glad to be in the hot bath. The water floating about me was sensual and soothing. My mind started to clear. With a Socratic precision I decided to go through the facts. I had not actually seen Peter. Tomorrow morning?"Bill didn't immediately grasp the meaning of the question. He was about to answer when he realized what she was asking."Are you sure? After all, it's our first date." Yes, I'm sure. I find you fascinating and I'm just amazed that some woman hasn't snagged you yet. You are quite something, Bill Orton ... and yes, I'm very sure."He moved toward her and she reached out to him. They kissed and held each other for a moment. "I guess it's time to show you the bedroom then."She turned and walked ahead of him down the hallway. The bedroom had been decorated in muted colours and as with the other rooms, it was spotless and tidy. The bed had been made and covered with a homemade quilt. Everything about Bill and his living quarters gave her a sense of confidence. She wondered, however, if this was truly his first date. What would he be like as a lover? Was it his first time? He didn't act like it. He didn't stumble or stammer. He seemed to be in control. Perhaps the first date.
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