” Over the next couple of weeks he was not trying to compete with her, but when he got a test back and she asked him what he got, he told her he received a 95 grade, but she would brag that she got higher. When they competed against other teams, he would usually come in third and she often would come at least in second and belittle him for not being as good as her. She was trying to be the fastest woman swimmer at the university ever in many race categories, but he had little desire to beat school speed records.Besides her atrocious behavior mocking him about his grades and swimming abilities, she started spreading rumors about him. First, it got back to him that she was telling people he only dated men. Then he heard that she said that people didn’t want to date him because he had a tiny penis. Towards the middle of the season he had finally gotten sick of her bragging about her academic and swimming triumphs and making up rumors about him. He had a plan to show her he was as. I thought I was content, just being around the Society and watchingothers submit. The truth was I was hiding. Hiding from my desires andhiding from the belief that I could actually fulfill my dreams. I knowthat each of you reading this know what I am speaking of. It as if youare going through the motions, but not really alive. You know there ismore out there, but you sit idly by waiting for it to come slap you inface.That was me, one foot in the vanilla world, one foot in the Fem Dommeworld. I actually felt fortunate that I was able to live in both worldswith some success, but looking back I now realize just how unfulfillingthat existence was. Not belonging, not being the property of another isnot being alive it is existing.I believe in past lives. I do! How else could you possibly explain mydesire to submit to the neighborhood girls when I was only 7 or 8? Howelse do you explain thoughts in my head at age 12 or 13 I should get onhormones now, when I knew nothing about such.
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