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’ He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.‘Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. ‘Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of’.The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. ‘It’s hard to beat the speed of light, ‘ he said.Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.Old Bubba replied, ‘After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.’‘WHAT!?’ said the interviewer, stunned by the response.‘Oh sure’, said BUBBA. ‘You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already SHIT my pants.’BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!This one is compliments. I tried to convince her that she was basically topless anyway, her tits were exposed except for the nipples, and no one had been shocked or offended. In fact all she had received was positive comments…what would it hurt…besides, by this point, probably no one would know but me and her anyway. I was surprised when she finally relented and agreed to do it. I took the band aids off and was surprised at how noticeable her nipples were. We had put bloody makeup over the band aids, so with them off, her nipples now were very visible. I told her you couldn’t really tell, but she knew I was lying. She agreed to do it for a little while, but the band aids were going back on before too long. She was still very reluctant and not convinced we hadn’t crossed the line.We went back to the party and mingled and I was a little surprised, no one else seemed to notice, or at least not care. Huh, I thought to myself, I guess it wasn’t a big deal after all, no one cares but me. I wanted to make.
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