It cut through the clothes I had taken with me as though they weren’t there. The fear of being beaten up, ****d or even murdered, meant I didn’t sleep hardly at all, always scared and always hungry. That first time I had to force myself to eat from businesses and people’s bins. I learnt hard and fast, not to trust anyone. Even the street people seemed to have their own rules. Let me introduce myself first, my name is Tonya Martin but I am better known as the model “Toni.” I am almost twenty now and stand 6ft tall. I was helped by a Salvation Army Major who introduced me to an organisation that gave help and a place to stay for people like me “Runaways.” Sorry I’m getting ahead of myself.My father died when I was only eleven, through a car accident and my whole world changed. I was very close to my dad and like my mam withdrew into myself. After the funeral, I hardly went out except to school. Mum stopped caring about everything. I don’t blame her for that because she and my father. He couldn’t take what was offered, always wanting more, I have already learned how to be patient and get far more than he could ever imagine. I have smelled her, I have seen her in the moonlight (in far less than she should probably be walking around in), I have almost tasted her once via a half glass of merlot she left behind, she is my dream walking. I enjoy her like I do breathing, yes it comes as first nature, yes inhaling more of it gives me comfort within my chest, and yes its something I can’t live without- these statements describe her as well as anything you can think of. I have tried to fill my days with other pass times but trust in the knowledge that nothing is as all consuming as loving her. Remember before I told you that her writing makes you feel like you’re being held- that doesn’t even begin to describe it. It’s as if, you know the tingly feeling of first love, the passion of a summer fling, and the comfort of old true love- she is all of that, with just words. She.
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