"Don't mention fire!" His attempt at a laugh was shaky, bitter. "I feel like I'm burning up. God it's hot in here!" Then turn off that damned gas log! I never could figure out why you had to have it going all the time. You'd have been a natural as a fire bug." Yeah, big deal. 'Charley, build us a fire. You're so good at building fires.' Turn it down yourself! No, never mind. I'll do it."He walked cautiously over to the cone shaped metal fireplace, reaching for the valve handle as though he was afraid it would burn him. As he approached the flames raged higher, and even before he touched the handle it was a roaring inferno that seemed to raise the temperature in the apartment a good ten degrees. He lurched back, gasping, and the flame sank back to a dancing, flickering glow."How'd you do that?" As far as I could see he hadn't touched a thing. "Some kind of a gimmick you've rigged up?" Don't I wish!" He wiped away a sudden sweat. "You try it and see what happens." What the Hell?" I. He goes into the bar, and speaks to the owner, who sizes him up, and offers him the job. He adds this: “One thing. If you ever hear, ‘Big John’s a-comin’’, just get out of here as fast as you can!”He works there for a few weeks, when one day, he’s cleaning the place, and there’s an incredible commotion outside. People are yelling, screaming “Big John’s a-comin! Big Jooooohn’s a-comin!”As he’s trying to leave the bar, though, he’s knocked over by a massively huge man, riding an even bigger mountain lion, using a twelve foot rattlesnake for a whip! The man rides the mountain lion up to the bar, tosses the rattlesnake into the corner, and bellows out “Gimme a barrel of pickle juice!”Our young hero goes into the store room and rolls out a barrel of pickle juice. The man rips the lid off with his teeth and drains it all in one gulp, and tops it off with a belch that rattles windows three towns away.The young man meekly asks “Would you like another barrel of pickle juice?” “Ain’t got time!”.
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