Sexually, I'm submissive, and that's pretty much all there is to it. Joel wasn't into that sort of thing, and I didn't see him that way anyway, but this wasn't sex. This was something more than that.I felt like one of those middle aged guys having a midlife crisis, only I'm a woman and I was only in my twenties. The problem was mortality. I know that death's necessary for life, for each species to evolve, for us to get to the state we're in at the moment where we have a society and spend our time listening to music and watching films instead of being hunted by predators. I've always accepted that one day I will die. The thing is, I've always had this inescapable feeling in the back of my mind that I should do something first. I'm not sure what it is. I think that's part of the problem.I knew my body would peak long before my mind. Having a relatively high sex drive for a woman, I've always felt I should be making full use of it before it's too late and I cease to look particularly. Every time she checked she felt worse, slightly more distant. Stacy took a very manly size gulp of her wine and lost herself in the film wishing she could step into it and stay in it forever. Just at that moment there was a rustling outside her house and the front light came on. She bolted up right, a thousand scenarios playing through her mind. Who the hell was outside? Nobody she knew just came round, not without texting first. She paused the film and listened but could hear nothing more. She waited a while after the light went off. Must be a cat or something, she thought, and pressed the play button. Only seconds later came a loud hammering on the door, then low voices and muttering. There was a short break, then a knock she thought she recognised. But it was still the middle of the night! She wasn’t going to open her door, it could be anyone! “Who? Who is it?” she stuttered, barely loud enough for them to hear. A voice she knew replied, “You’re supposed to open the door and.
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