" Well," said the big Croc, "what have you been eating?" Politicians, same as you," replied the small Croc."Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?" Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol." Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?" Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!" Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."The Difference between Grandpa and Grandma Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old grandson out for a drive in the car for. He set her on edge, there was an air of danger about him and she wasn't sure if it excited her or filled her with fear, maybe a bit of both.She could see his long shadow on the ground as she walked, closing in; he matched her pace. Her breathing quickened. She shoved her hands in her pockets, closing her jacket tighter.She turned a corner and collided with another man coming from the opposite direction, she apologized and quickly tried to sidestep him but found that he had a grip on her arm so strong that she was clearly at his mercy. Panic set in as she realized he was dragging her into the alley, he pushed her against the brick wall and lifted her off the ground. It was dark, she couldn't see his face but she did catch a glimpse of his gleaming fangs before feeling them sink into her neck.She opened her mouth to scream but all that escaped was a silent mist of hot breath, she watched it fade into the night as she gradually lost consciousness.When she woke up she was bent over the.
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