We did ofcourse teach them sign language and they are both fluent inunderstanding it but not in signing it, so I could read some stories tothem at night. We did discuss the possibility of moving to a biggerplace a couple of times but we were both car mechanics and our salariesdidn't allow us to have that freedom. The house I'd grown up in wouldhave been ideal for us. We frequently did house trade with my parents,so it never felt like we were living in a too small space. Unlike me, mydaughters were really girly. Being twins they would stay up all night intheir room, my former bedroom, talking about boys. "Do you understandany of that?" I would ask Hal. He would just shake his head in reply.Since we, for the sake of appearance, shared the same bed now but slepton different sides we would occasionally have awkward situations wherewe'd crawled up together while asleep and woke up like that. For twentyyears I managed convincing my surroundings that I was just like anyother woman. This all. "He's hung in there all these years and hasn't done anything about it, well, not really, he's got to love her. It'll make things better for them, him and her both, not worse. I don't even know why I thought of that story, I just did." Too close to home," I said. "You know, you might want to keep little tid-bits like that to yourself, huh?" Do me a favor, don't say that for a while, honey, OK?" she popped up."What? 'Keep it to yourself?' I don't—" 'You know, '" she corrected. "It was Lady Celeste's favorite phrase, didn't you notice? Every other sentence. Probably it's a good thing I wasn't there, the real me. The physical me. I felt like screaming at her, 'No, I don't fucking know, you stupid bitch!' People say that all the damn time."I was amused. "It's just a space-holder, sweetie," I placated her. "Like 'um' or 'well' or 'like' or half a dozen other meaningless noises people make in conversation. Says 'I've still got the floor, hang in there a minute, it's not your turn yet, I'm.
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