" Sure, know a bloke who packs containers of dog food for Japan. Heavywork though, twenty two tonne per container, always looking for newblood." Daadd! You know, your place." Who would you like me to sack, so you can have a job, Cindy orCharlene." Neither." she said looking at the floor.Laura stepped over to her, "Honey, I know school is not your favouriteplace, but you need that piece of paper at the end. I don't think youwant to work in a burger joint?"She shook her head."If it's okay with your mum, when we're flat out at the studio, you cancome and help and on school holidays. Then you've got the two weekswith Kim coming up, plenty to look forward to." You're right dad, thank you." Well, that's settled for the moment, I'll go put some dinnertogether." Laura said leaving the room."Okay young lady, let's find Daniel." Oh dad." Don't oh dad me. Most sixteen year old transvestites don't dress thisoften. You're doing pretty well I think." Danielle grabbed me andkissed me again on the. I have no one to whisper to. I have lost again and look away with eyes full of remorse and hurt and that glint of fear. Fear of the pain? No…more accurately described as fear of failure. What kind of mother will I be? Hands explore a surface so hard and round and promising, feeling that pulse of life within, wishing I could look like this forever and have someone to whisper to. And then the pain came, and I wonder why I was not in fear of it. Pain like a river, a waterfall, an earthquake…pain like a volcanic eruption that makes me scream and scream and scream. So much pain to deliver a life so small. Giving birth was perhaps the most painful and colorful moment of my life, the ripping of a soul that I’m not even sure exists. It tore from me like the wing of bird, disabling my flight through the azure dawn of existence. I felt that when I was crying my tears were made of glass because they hurt as they came out razor edges carving bloody scars down my cheeks dropping like bullets onto.
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