He could leave me bloody and bruised on the side of the road after taking all my money; hell it could be a group of backward thinking Neanderthals wanting to kill me. Or worse yet, he could destroy my life in another way; I was deeply, deeply closeted. No one knew I was attracted to men.I had spent the better part of my 29 year old life casually dating women and “working on my career.” And sure I loved the taste of a cunt and to a lesser extent the feeling of fucking one, but it’s never felt right before. My entire sex life has been like going to eat Chinese food when your desperately craving Italian; sure it’ll fill you up but your never going to be truly satisfied.At 26, when my father passed, I started to finally accept some hard truths about myself, and after three years of self exploration and lots of money spent on therapy, I could finally say it, “I’m attracted to men.” It took a lot of courage to get those words out of my mouth, and it took even more to download the gay apps. . some but I don't kiss and tell Shelia..."She just laughed at me."Come on ... the whole school knows about what happened with you and Phil at prom last year..."Yeah I had heard the lurid stories that Phil had told whipped up from his imagination because we both knew the truth. He'd passed out in the hotel room way before we could get anything started."Phil wasn't all ... that and I didn't go back for a repeat performance."I didn't tell the truth because it was so damn complicated. I'd gotten so tired of being looked at as a good girl and the stories that Phil told starting with his teammates had just made me look less ... goody goody. I'd gotten more popular and over the summer, invited to more parties. As long as Phil kept building it up as some big conquest on his part, no one would discover the truth."So how was he?"God ... I didn't know how to start with that because all I could think about was Carlton's hard body and how it'd been to feel his hand wrapped around with my hair.
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