There's just something missing... you know... at home." That's normal after what happened." It's more than... more than losing the baby. It's... it's... oh I don't know." You and John not having much fun in the sack?" Jill said with a questioning look."No... but that's not really new." So, John's not pleasing you?" Well, John's good to me... really good... but there has to be more." Maybe you need an affair," Jill joked. Then she saw Amy's face turn red. Suddenly, Jill's face brightened and she said, "Oh wow, you've been thinking about it!" No I haven't!" Amy said but her face got redder, giving her away. "I would never cheat on John!" But you've thought about it! Come on tell me. Who do you do it with in your mind?" Jill prodded, in an excited voice."No one. I just have these fantasies. You know with guys." Amy wasn't about to tell her that it wasn't "guys", but one particular guy."Hey, we all have those sweetie. It's when we act on them that we get into trouble. I..." Jill started. I flushed the toilet to cover the noise of my sobs. Splashing cold water on my face, I tried to regain composure and formulate the lie. The lie that he had not hurt my feelings, the lie that he could not hurt my feelings, and the biggest lie of them all, that I did not love him and what had occurred was merely sex, nothing more. I rounded up my purse and car keys, preparing to leave. There was polite conversation between us as he walked me to the door. There was a hug and a peck as he ushered me to my car. I watched him through my rear view mirror as he mounted the steps of his porch and retreated to the safety of his dwelling. In the quiet of the night, I heard the lock in its tumbler as he shut out the dark. I eased the car into drive pulling onto the street. “Bastard,” I muttered as his house shrank in the distance. Once safely home, I resisted the urge to call him. I got ready for bed and turned on the TV for a little friendly chatter. I was alone, rage and hurt my only.
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