" Oh. Crap. I reach for the phone. I'll call my youngest son. Maybe he can talk. Push the button, slide the finger, tap the phone icon, tap the little man's head and shoulders, slide my finger up until I find my youngest son's name. Tap it. Ok, what time is it there? He's two hours earlier than we are. Which of these phone numbers do I want to call—home, mobile or work? Crap, it doesn't matter. He always has his cell with him. Tap that button.Ring, ring, ring, ring. "I'm sorry I can't answer my phone right now. Leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."End the call and toss the damn phone onto the table beside my recliner. Hum, it's almost noon. Wonder what's for lunch. I'm not really hungry but it's almost time to eat. That'll fill in a few minutes. Sure hope it's something that tastes good. Nothing seems to taste good lately."Honey what's for lunch?" I don't know. What sounds good?" I don't know. It's almost noon. Haven't you got anything out to fix?". You may be really shocked and it may even affect our relationship." Nonsense, Rob. There is hardly anything that can shock me that bad. Don't forget that I'm 55 now and that I've seen a lot in my life."Shit. How can I tell Mom what kind of women I'd been attracted to? The fact is that the women I liked were all married, and all of them cheated on their husbands. They were easily defined as round-heeled sluts. But marrying one of those? Had it come up I would have run away as fast as I could, because I'd never ever marry a woman who would cheat on me as easily as I had had them cheat on their husbands."Do you insist, Mom?" Well, I'd really like to know." OK, Mom. I'll tell you about some of my most intimate experiences with women. Experiences that would make you blush. You see, this is partially your fault, or better, the friends you used to hang around with. I'm sure you remember Beth and Dorothy who were your best friends about 15 years ago."I then went on and told her about the.
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