The attendants, in their white smocks and their elaborate makeup,were bustling behind the many counters, serving customers, talkingamongst themselves. The sights and smells were intoxicating. In my plans I had seen myself confidently sitting down and letting one ofthe women show me what looked best on me. I envisioned the intimacy ofher holding my chin, outlining my eyes, complimenting me, making mebeautifully made up. But now that intimacy scared me. What would she ask me? I had no ideaabout anything having to do with makeup. Could I possibly sit there,under those lights, under that scrutiny? This was not going as I hadplanned.I walked through the clothing area. So many choices. All the items Ihad envisioned were not readily apparent. I walked through the dresses,the suits, skirts, sweaters, jackets. I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror and for a second didn't evenrealize it was me. But it was. I'm a woman. Calm yourself Michael. Iwalked toward another mirror,. ‘Good girl,’ He says. ‘Slave Tara, this is Slave Gabrielle. She is another one of my pets. Slave Gabrielle, you can open your eyes now.’ The other woman’s eyes open, but they remain glassy and unfocused. I wish I was that deep. I know I’m not awake, not really, I’m never truly awake in this room. Master’s conditioning has settled into my mind so deeply that simply being with him in here puts me into a light trance, the kind you almost don’t notice until you wake from it. I want Him to take me deeper, though. I want him to take me so deep that disobedience isn’t even a thought. But I’m scared to ask for it, too. I’m frozen on the edge of resistance, unsure of what to want let alone what to do. ‘Isn’t she beautiful, Gabrielle?’ Master asks. Gabrielle’s glazed eyes stare at me and her face breaks into a beatific smile. ‘Yes, Master,’ she whispers. I can’t quite believe she’s telling the truth-I’m not attracted to her, but if there’s one of us in this room that’s beautiful, it’s her. But.
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