You are a very lucky man.”I didn’t feel lucky. Carol’s pretty face was red and swollen from crying, or lack of sleep… or both. Our kids, Trisha and Anne were standing by the bed in tears. All I could think of was what the hell happened? Did I have a permanent disability?The next several months were nothing but a blur of pain drugs and therapy; they kept me heavily sedated, so my sense of time was skewed. The casts came off at seven weeks and that’s when the real battle began to reclaim my life.My therapist, Mindy, was a small woman of Asian descent who had the slim fit body of a model, the face of an angel, and the personality of a hard-ass Marine drill instructor. Mindy was merciless in her therapy, pushing me like no one ever had before in my life. I spent almost all day everyday with her harassing me. The progress was slow but steady. She was as unrelenting as the pain was. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months.Despite her strict professionalism, we eventually became. Looked at me. “Robert, you were wounded yourself, what could you have done on one leg?”“I could have been there with him, and if I had been I might have been the one hurt not John. That man did not deserve to die that way.”“Robert, no one, not even the enemy deserves to die that way. It happens in war, and there is nothing that can change that. You are not to blame, and you could not have changed it in any way, except to die yourself.”He continued; “You have a very severe case of ‘Survivor’s Guilt’ and I am having you shipped stateside to another Army Hospital where it can be treated more effectively.”I ended up being assigned to the psych ward at Brook Army Medical Center, Fort Sam Houston, San Antonio, Texas. I had been there for six weeks when I had a visitor. Mrs. Collins came to see me. The pain of my loss and my failure came back. She tried to ease my mental pain.“Good morning Robert, I’m Mary Collins, John’s wife. I was visited by a nurse that treated you in Afghanistan, and.
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