" I began to catalogue the reasons Dave and Milly were wrong for each other. "And she's married, for Christ's sake. And just think about Maggie. If ever she finds out what you've—" —I know. I know!" Have you and her . . . ?" I tried desperately to keep my tone laddish, feigned salacious interest to cover my raging jealousy."That's the problem: no, we haven't."And even though I had vowed to give Milly up, now knowing that back in our old home town she and Dave were having this charade of an affair, it made me want to stand up and punch him. I sat looking at him, his hopelessness as plain as day on his face, a mirror image of my Milly induced emotional wreckage.Learning about Dave and Milly made me realise I had not quite exercised her ghost. ****A few weeks later. Maggie's twenty-seventh birthday party in their home. I did not want to attend but there was no way out. That's not entirely true. A masochistic part of me wanted to see Dave crawl over. He wouldn’t tell me where we were going until we got there. I was seriously disappointed to see Applebee’s out the window. So far this evening was becoming a disaster. I focused on the fun that we were going to have later. After all, this night was about me losing my virginity and giving myself to him. I could not blame Mike for this because he did not know that I was going to have sex with him tonight. I ate my dinner over small talk and could not wait for it to be over. After we were done eating I told Mike that I wanted to go back to my dorm and just watch TV with him. He paid the bill, gave me a sweet kiss and escorted me out to the car. On the drive back he placed a hand on my thigh and gently massaged it. It felt so good. When we got back to the dorm, Mike sat down on the futon in the room and looked for the remote. I wasted no time. I grabbed a condom that I had left in the drawer next to the door. I unstrapped my heels, walked up to him and flipped the condom to.
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