When they were finished with him, he lay there with his right arm broken, his right knee crushed, two broken ribs and damaged testicles. He was expected to remain in the hospital for some time.When Catherine came back from the spa she rang me and wanted us to meet in order to talk but I replied, "What for? Are you doing errands for your miserable boyfriend again? I don't care a damn shit about his lawyers." Please listen."I interrupted her and shouted, "Tell that silly creep what will happen if he don't stop using you for harassing me, even I can use a baseball bat if he didn't got enough the last time." Please listen. I have something important to tell you."I didn't care to do that. I cut off her call and didn't bother to take her further calls.The next day the director for personnel administration at the insurance company where Catherine worked rang me at my job and invited me for dinner at a nice restaurant in town. He told me that it would only be a friendly talk "off the record". Baptists 2: We’ll wash the shit right off you.Baptists 3: Only total immersion in shit will suffice.Baptist (fundamentalism) 1: Shit will happen, but only the way we say it will happen and if it doesn’t happen we will make it happen because that’s God’s will and we know it...Baptist (fundamentalism) 2: Shit happens because the Bible says so.Baptist (southern): Shit will happen. Praise the lord!Behaviorism: Shit is conditioned to happen.Born Again-ism: Shit Happens, but I am saved.Buddhism 1: If shit happens, it is not really shit.Buddhism 2: If shit happens, it isn’t really happening TO anyone.Buddhism 3: Shit will happen again to you next time.Buddhism 4: What is the sound of one shit happening?Buddhism 5: Shit will happen to you again.Buddhism 6: Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.Calvinism 1: Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.Calvinism 2: Shit is predestined to happen.Calvinism 3: If you’re not saved, tough shit.Canine-ism: Shit.
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