I walked out and went to spend summer with my Aunt on a smallholding in a remote part of South Wales. Meg was a widow aged around forty living on her own ever since my Uncle Dylan had been killed in a mine accident ten years earlier. I think the Miners Union obtained a decent compensation amount for her, she now seemed quite well off and she and Dylan having had no c***dren had always had a soft spot for me, her younger sister's daughter.She kept chickens, a goat, several orphaned lambs, a cat and two Labrador dogs for company. The Labs were lovely, one black and one golden, named, 'Bill' and 'Ben'.Her old farm cottage was remote, well off the beaten track or any real road. The two dogs would howl like banshees if a stranger dared to approach their lonely track but just greeted people with a welcoming bark when the few folk they knew well approached, my Aunt could truthfully tell you just who was approaching up the track by the sound of the dogs barks. I had no idea how she did it but. His life, and his death, had a major impact. In fact, I’d say that other than Birgit’s death, Jorge’s death was the event that had the biggest impact on me, bar none. And it rivals Birgit’s death in many ways.”“There were other important people in your life who died.”I nodded, “Absolutely, and I’m not minimizing the impact that Stephie, Don Joseph, or Nick Evans had on me. But if you’re looking for defining moments in my life, it’s those two deaths, Jesse’s birth, and my five weeks in Japan.”“Not your marriage? Or the other kids?”“None of those changed me the way those four things did.”Doctor Mercer scanned her notes, and flipped a few pages in one of the old notebooks. She made some notes on her pad, then put her pencil down.“I think we’re making some good progress here. I know it might not seem like it, but we are.”I smiled, “I know we are. We’re winnowing down my self-loathing and getting it under control. Once that’s under control, and I can stop seeing myself as a sexual.
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