A few minutes before, I was up in my room freaking the fuck out to the point of crying with all the school and work stress, along with our family drama. For about a week now I've been fixated on the idea that it would help me so much if she would let me nurse for a while. I've seen her breastfeeding my sister, watching her fall asleep and envying the closeness and comfort it produced. This afternoon, when I felt like I was having a panic attack I came down distraught and crying. She held me on the couch for a minute and was so sweet and gentle. As I lay against her chest, I noticed a little spot on her t-shirt at her nipple. Without even thinking, I let my mouth rest against it and sucked gently, pulling the small amount of milk through the fabric and onto my tongue. It felt so good I started to drift towards a dreamy stupor.In a soft voice, she asked me, "Would you like to nuzzle at mama's breast, baby? Would that make you feel better?" It was all I could think about. I sat up. ." I smiled at her."You should try," she said and I narrowed my eyes. "Fighting is like fucking." I think I'd be afraid of fighting someone," I sighed."Are you afraid to fuck?" she teased me, licking her thin red lips and she really did look like a vampire.Eva was a total Goth and I could easily imagine her ten years younger, clubbing in Berlin all dressed in black with her face painted and pierced. I bet she'd been really hot when she was like 17 years old, the kind of girl I'd always been jealous and even terrified of, and that made me smile."The first time?" I asked her. "Yeah. I was scared." But not anymore, ja?" Eva smiled and tilted her face so a lock of pale blonde hair fell across her cobalt eyes. "That is also fighting. Like you are a virgin again." Is it?" I shook my head with a soft laugh. "I have no idea what that means." We can teach you," Wolfgang offered."To fight?" I looked at him."Well..." he grinned at Eva and then they both looked at me, " ... We already know you.
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