“156 people! How did you manage to do that?”“Well, I used a similar diagram,” the guy says. “I drew two circles like this: oO. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, ‘This is your asshole before prison...”This is compliments of J & BJust some DEEP thoughts for 2017• The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.• My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.• The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. Pretty sure she’s going to get me something.• My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 lbs I’ve gained since then.• I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”• The speed with which a woman says “nothing”, when asked “What’s wrong?”, is inversely proportional to the severity of the shit storm that’s. Nikki suggested she go out with him but she wanted them to all meet up some where around midnight so they could celebrate together. ‘Danny may be your first kiss of the New Year but I want to be your second,’ she said. Robin rolled her eyes up to look a Nikki. She put her hand on hers and squeezed her gently. ‘Nikki, can I ask you something?’ Robin asked. ‘No I would prefer that you not,’ Nikki answered sarcastically. ‘Of course you can, you know you can ask me anything.’ ‘Has anyone ever…ever kissed your ass?’ she asked shyly. ‘Most people I get to know get to kiss my ass eventually,’ she answered. ‘No, Nikki, I mean really. Actually kissed you, put their mouth on her butthole…has anyone ever?’ she asked again. Nikki slid her hand under the covers and inside Robin’s shorts and panties and pressed her fingers between the cheeks of her butt and began to explore her. Robin laid her top leg over to let Nikki play. Robin closed her eyes knowing that Nikki would soon be experiencing her.
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