She has to be in so much pain. Being cheated on can make one feelinadequate, they can feel they are to blame for what happened. Thenwith it to be someone of the opposite sex of you, has to make itworse. I mean you can think you drove them away from being withpeople of the same sex as you.Dana and I met a lady at the club who was in the same boat as me. Itwas her first real time out as who she was. Her name was Melody andshe was a sweetheart. She goes by Melody and not Mel. She stressedthat point so I am stressing it also. I do not want to call her Mel.We both talked about how important having good social support isDana saw an old flame and I am proud of myself, I was not jealous atall about Dana's past. In fact when Alan went to leave us toourselves I suggested he stay. He did. I was happy for Dana hadsomeone to talk to while Melody and I hit the dance floor. Later onin the night the two guys did join us. It was so fun and freeing tobe on the floor with a new friend, my man and. I hain't seen it in so long I'd 'bout forgot t'was in the house. Mama hefted it up an' pointed it right at me. She said what I'd been doin' t' her was wicked, an' in her mind there warn't but one thing left t' be done, seein' as I meant t' make a habit of it. She said not t' worry, though. She figur'd she must a' done sumpthin' t' goad me on, so she'd take most a' the blame 'pon herself when we come t' our Maker. She went on an on, like she'd rehersed it all day. I was given her solemn promise that 'fore I was dead a minute, she'd put the gun t' herself. Seemed only right, she said, seein' as she'd prob'ly brought me to it somehow. (Mama didn't rightly know how she'd done this, but it only stood t' reason--why else would sech a good boy as m'self take t' actin' in sech a bad way?) Then she cocked the damned thing an' started tellin' me how she loved me an' how this was a hard thing fer her t' do but she had no choice. I jes' stood there starin' down that barrel. I couldn't swear fer.
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