I just wanted to tell you myself, just in case your wives or girlfriends come to Walmart to try on jeans.Kinda enjoyed my first day on the job. Now I’m thinking about making it ‘full time’ employment!We all grow old in the end... I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.The biggest lie I tell myself is...”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet... Why do I have to press one for English. Well, it happened to me. I don't know why, but I told another man aboutJill. It's not as if I wanted a partner or assistant. I've often fancied double-fuckinga woman,(you know; I fuck her mouth while another man fucks her cunt), butI've always thought it's a bit gay and would never really want to be so closeto another man to do that. I suppose I wanted a bit of recognition, no matter who it came from of mybrilliance as a bitch-trainer. My choice of confidante was a chap called Bernie who was a bit of a roughcharacter I knew from a pub I sometimes use. Bernie loved pornography and hada fine collection of videos, mainly staged rape stories. In exchange for alook at them I took a video of Jill crying as she sucked my cock. He was impressed;you can't find an actress to beat the real thing. Perhaps I had drunk too muchof his cheap whisky but when he asked if I could get more film of Jill I toldhim that I had filmed it myself. He made out he didn't believe me, that I wasn'tcapable of.
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