The world around me was spinning at an incredible pace. I did not know what to do. I closed my eyes. I felt Sasha pulling on my arm. My eyes opened. Dylan was no longer standing in front of us. I heard words, a distorted voice. ‘Come on, we have to talk to him.’ I allowed myself to be propelled forward. My brain began to function again as thoughts rushed in. What is he doing here? How did he find out? What can I say now? We emerged into the terminal. Sasha pushed me to the right. I saw Dylan’s back. Without thinking about it, I yelled, ‘Dylan, wait!’ I was shocked to see him comply. He stood there without turning around, his shoulders drooped. Every sensation seemed magnified as I made my legs move to walk towards him. I was acutely aware of my feet touching the ground, of the air in my face as I moved. I reached him in a few steps. I stood beside him but he didn’t turn his head. I reached my fingers to touch his sleeve, but he abruptly pulled his arm away. We were next to an empty. At the same time I knew that up until a few minutes ago this had been a living creature. I had assumed the role of God, deciding what would live and what would die, and I didn't like that role. I knew the poor thing lying at my feet had to die, because of the priorities that existed in my world. But that didn't mean I was proud of having killed it. It occurred to me that I had learned this killing skill very well, considering that I was successful on my very first shot off the practice range. That made me feel good, except that my success had been the doom of another living creature, which robbed me of that good feeling. And the whole time all this was going on in my brain I was hopped up on adrenaline and hyperventilating.I thought about what to do with the body. Jill had told me not to leave anything for the others to eat unless I wanted to use it as bait and wait for them to come feed. I'd thought that was cold then, and it felt even more distasteful now. I picked up the carcass.
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