The shame you feel after hurting yourself to cope is difficult to deal with and I’ll be honest and say that the shame sometimes made me feel so bad that I actually harmed myself twice in the space of a few minutes. The term vicious cycle has been used to describe self-harm. I completely agree. It’s exactly the right term to use. You feel bad, you cut. You feel bad about cutting, you start to feel worse. And you cut again. And it keeps on going, and going, and going... It’s very hard to explain and incredibly difficult for people to comprehend but hurting yourself is very addictive. I have no idea why but that’s the only word that I can find to at least try to explain. People often mistake is as a suicide attempt but that’s just because the most common place to cut is arms. It’s not about dying, it really isn’t. It can be a cry for help but for most it’s to help cope with emotional pain. It’s a completely stupid way to cope; I’ll be the first to admit that. But I will. “Yes, yes, harder,” Twenty-five mutters as Fifty rakes his nails over his ass cheeks and commences sucking his erection.“And you, is this what you want,” Sarah teases as she sits alongside Fifty on the bench seat and wraps her hand around his very thick and now very erect cock. “Enjoy baby,” she smiles as I masturbate while watching her hand bringing Fifty’s incredibly thick cock to orgasm while he is blowing Twenty-five.On the following Sunday Sarah has invited Fifty for a return visit with Karen as our special guest. I heard Sarah on the phone during the week telling Karen about Fifty. “He has the thickest cock I have ever seen. Too thick for me to suck, so he had to settle for a hand job from me while my man and I watched him give an incredible blow job to a boy half his age. My man has been on edge ever since. He is hanging out for a blow job from him. Perhaps you can share him with us?”When Fifty arrives Sarah has briefed Karen on what we want to happen. We can hear her letting.
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