Picture yourself floating. You are floating in the clouds. Take a deep breath. Deeper, hold it! You can feel yourself falling through the clouds. Can you feel yourself floating down?’ I held my breath. This was a first test. She nodded her head yes. Not a terrific response but substantially better than nothing or worse no. ‘I am going to count slowly. With each number I want you to take a very deep breath and hold it. You will exhale when I tell you. With each breath your trance will get deeper.’ I wanted to increase her carbon dioxide and decease her oxygen. That would ad to her disorientation and make her more susceptible. It appeared to be working. I waited several seconds between each breath. She continued to follow instructions. I kept it up for almost ten minutes. While I was attempting to get control of Sybil, I turned to Cheryl. ‘Cheryl, sleep!’ She sighed and collapsed backwards like a sack of flour. When I was satisfied that Sybil was truly in a trance I deepened her. The creaking wheels don’t carry it far. I follow it, walking away from her. ‘You’re still mad.’ It’s not a question, more of an accusation. Her tone is incredulous. I walk faster. ‘I’m not mad.’ She follows me as I wheel the cart back toward the supply room. There are more books to be reshelved, standing in piles on the oak table. There are even more stacks of books waiting for rebinding, or page repairs. ‘I said I was sorry.’ She had said she was sorry. A dozen times. Two dozen. It didn’t change anything. ‘I’m not mad.’ I fuss with the cart, maneuvering it into the corner, a momentary bout of OCD forcing me to perfectly align the wheels with the chipped paint of the baseboard. I’m not mad. I’m furious. ‘You won’t even look at me.’ I haven’t looked at her. Defiant, I do now. She’s got that kicked puppy look that I hate. Mousy brown hair pulled into a messy topknot, her eyes red-rimmed from tears she won’t ever let me see fall. ‘You read too much into looks.’ My tone is colder than I.
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