Inside the sumptious Nixon Bathroom, larger than most D.C. apartments,President George Walker Bush had donned his pink tutu, his Miss Piggymask and his Farrah Faucett wig. He spoke in a regal, constrictedfalsetto, "Helleeew, yes! I am Princess of thee entire Ew-nee-verse, anda pretty, pretty peeg am I! Oh my!"On tiptoes he fluttered gracefully across the room, his wrists crossed above his head, enamored of the reflections he saw in the room's many tall mirrors. The pig face, the tutu, the ballet slippers and snow whitestockings, the pink ribbon tied around his dangling pecker in a lovelybow- he was indeed a vision of unsurpassed beauty!Now came the fun part. From a wire cage on the sink counter he plucked alarge white gerbil, holding the poor squirming animal by its stubbytail,"Ya know what happens now, my little friend-"The gerbil spoke, "Mister President, I am a magic gerbil. If you don'tput me up your ass I will grant you three wishes!" Huh?" asked the President crossly. . "I have heard all this before from you, but the fact is that I am not getting younger and life is passing me by. I have a certain dress in mind and I really want it. I should not have to beg for it. Please remember, I am the wife that you promised to cherish." "Emma, you know that this is my inheritance money I brought with me into our marriage and I have no intention to squander any of it on frivolous requests. It will be used for my nephew's seminary education."I was boiling inside, but I kept quiet. My brother and my identical twin sister had long ago freed themselves and stood on their own feet. It was only natural that Jacob changed his name to Bob. He lived only eighty miles away and visited or phoned often.My sister now called herself Mary-Lou. She had risen to become the Pacific Rim manager of a global advertising agency working out of her office in Singapore. Being twins I and Mary-Lou were very close, understanding each other on a gut level.The matter of a new dress kept me.
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