I know what prison inmates think of a convicted sex offender. I started asking myself questions. What would Jordan do if I refused? What did Trish want me to do? If I agreed, would we be able to keep things secret? I was mulling these things and some others over in my mind when I became aware that Trish had been talking to me."Oh I'm sorry; I was trying to get my head around what Jordan has asked." I told Trish."I know, I had a hard time getting my head around it too. I'm going to leave you to think things through. Can you come over and have supper with Jordan and me tomorrow so we can continue this discussion? I have Jordan's solemn promise to not get upset."I agreed and after Trish left, I went into the den and tried to get my head around everything with no success. Finally I gave up and went to bed.After tossing and turning all night, I woke up the next morning, no closer to figuring out what I should do or say. I figured trying to do my regular work was a waste of time since I'd. I’d grown used to various moments of self-loathing in the cuckold, wife-sharing lifestyle we’d grown into. But in some ways, this was worse, selfishly reaching out to a woman who I’d badly hurt once before, my selfless needs for companionship and deep insecurities about Jill obliterating any remaining morality in my heart.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~It was an hour later that the reply came back.What do you want? Haven’t you done enough damage already? Or maybe you want to break my heart some more?I winced at the tone and words, the guilt which was never far away surging back to slosh around in my heart. But even as I winced, I recognized the signs that Veronica wanted to talk, feeling relieved that she’d finally responded. I’d reckoned my chance of getting a response at fifty-fifty at best. I knew Veronica still had feelings for me, but I also knew how much she was hurting. The response she finally sent making me wonder if, despite everything, she still deep down had.
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