His uneasiness with theidea of a same-sex relationship had not abated in the slightest. Itfelt so wrong to share a bed, to embrace, someone whose build was sosimilar to his own. He couldn't get past it for all that he knew itexasperated his partner. Every evening ended with him creeping out ofthe room, leaving Jack to spend the night there alone. Another songlyric came into his head on one of these occasions - it won't be long,there's gonna be a time I won't feel inclined to leave beforesunrise...He wished it were true, doubted it ever would be. But theirrelationship was changing him. He was losing the emotional defenceshe'd so painstakingly erected. Making other friendships in the office.People were amazed when he developed a sense of humour. It made lifeeasier, but also more risky regarding his secret.And that was another thing. After a month or so of their affair he hadrefilled his prescription of drugs as per usual, sat down at home toreload the dispenser he always carried. It. She noticed, finally."What's wrong?" she asked. "Have you changed your mind?" She looked a little hurt."Umm, no. I just..." I looked around, desperately. Not too many people in the park, not in mid-January. I gulped, looked down at the flowers I was clutching -- crushing -- in my hands. "I didn't hear what you said," I confessed in a miserable whisper. "I didn't, umm, want to ask. And you said, 'pink ones.' So I wore... I'm wearing pink ones."No response. I finally dared to look up. There was an astonished grin spreading over her face, as she understood what it was I had to be referring to. She reached for my hip, and I shied away, face flaming. She giggled. "Really?" she asked, her voice vibrant. "My god, how wonderful! I didn't think you'd have the..." She looked at me. "You really do mean 'anything,' don't you?" I nodded, relieved when we started walking again. "Even if I take you home right now and tell you to show me that you trust me." That was a statement, not a question. But.
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