He will want to have you first.”“How would he know what I desire?” I said, still skeptical.“Because I told him. Did you see what he did with Tion on that tree. Demonde loves to take boys on trees like that. He has a tree in his clearing. He calls it his Fuck Fuck Tree. It has branches every which way that he likes to use to put the boys in positions useful to him. He ties them to the tree. And he fucks them and fucks them and fucks them.”“And you claim he has done this to you?” My voice was hoarse now, thick from desire.Before Sydney rolled over on top of me again and we took each other’s rehardened shafts in our mouths, he whispered, “Yes, he has, and it was—and is—nothing like I have ever experienced before. You’ll see. He came for me when I was fourteen. He still ties me to his tree. I’ll take you there some night to watch him ravish me. And some day he will come for you and carry you back to his Fuck Fuck Tree and tie you to it too. And you will feel pain, pleasure, and passion. Fourteen weeks, and no word.My hearing intact for the time being, I climb the three flights of stairsto my studio flat ? it?s an attic with a WC and a shower unit plumbed in,but you?ve got to have some pride in your pad ? and sit on the bed tolight my first cigarette since half-past two. Here, in my Fortress ofSolitude, I can loosen the mask I?ve worked so hard to construct. Nobodyminds if I belch, pick my nose, or break wind in a loud and offensivemanner. Of course I don?t do any of these things deliberately, but it?snice to know there are a few square feet in this dilapidated old red-brickbuilding where I?m free to be myself.Whoever that is.For the Richard Brookbank who trudged, bowed and defeated, behind SukiTatsukichi into Tower House nearly five months ago is just a memory. She?sas much a part of the past as the Richard who adored his toy London bus,the Richard who wrote execrable love poems to Trisha Hodgson knowing thatif they should ever fall into her hands he wouldn?t dare.
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