Till then the lunch came and we continued our conversation while eating. We were eating from the same plate as i was yet to buy utensils. While eating we were sitting close to each other and i was touching her everywhere which she didn’t seem to mind. Instead she was getting more Cosby and was enjoying it. I was sure of what she was looking for. I thought that i need to take an initiative.So i put one of my arms around her waist and came closer. I looked at her and she smiled. Ohhh GOD I was so turned on,but i decided to take it slowly. We were eating and she dropped some of the curry on the t-shirt. I noticed it and smiled;i licked it and then kissed her neck and smiled. We finished the lunch and i wad washing the plate and she was standing beside me. I told her that you’ve made my shirt dirty. She said”i think i should remove it then and clean it”. I knew i had my chance. I said”just remove it and leave the rest to me” and then took her in my arms.There was a silence and we could. Why? What made me change? It was as he said; I wanted to please my father by following in his footsteps.”“And you did,” Gabrielle said, still listening intently.“The trouble with that decision was that Dad was dead. He wasn’t around to welcome or support the change. I’d never get any recognition for it from him. I was trying to please a ghost. When I thought about it afterwards, I knew the doctor was right. I was making decisions based on what Dad might have thought. Then he reminded me of why I chose to seek help. It was Olivia’s parting words, wondering what Dad would have thought if he could have seen me at my worst.“From there, the doctor hit me with another unpleasant fact. He said I didn’t like myself very much. I was using my anger to mask the thought that I was imperfect now, handicapped, unable to do my job, unable to be the whole person I expected myself to be. By then I’d learned not to argue with his opinions. He’d hit home too often for me to second guess his statements..
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