"I went on mindlessly for a couple of months until I met up with other survivors by accident. I hadn't given meeting people any thought. I knew intellectually that there were other people still alive but I hadn't seen them nor looked. I needed to feel sorry for myself, I guess."Anyway, I was looking for more food at the store when I met this couple who were there doing the same thing. She was about my age while he was much older. I learned later that they were distant cousins and she had called everyone's number from her phone and that of her parents' phones. He was on one of those lists. She hadn't been married. She had been planning on getting her own place this spring. She didn't know why her parents died and she lived though she had almost died from the virus. I met a number of people later who had lost their family relations but survived though had been almost sick to death. I learned later that some people had a natural immunity to the virus and didn't get sick at all. Some. Ever since I told you that research study about lovers making eye contact for more than thirty seconds can trigger oxytocin, the bonding hormone, you wouldn’t take your eyes off me. Your passion is so powerful; to be loved by you is a religious experience.You were my first love, one that can't ever be erased. I remember on our first date we held hands and didn’t let go. We talked for hours on end, wishing the day was longer. I felt like I immediately knew you. We finished each other's sentences and fantasized about knowing each other in a different life. I never expected things to go this way and I don't want to hurt you. There is this immense guilt building because I feel privy to this information before you do. I hope you’ll be okay after this ends. I need you to be okay so I can find the strength.Our bodies fit together as one, but was it too forced? I molded myself to accommodate you. This can’t be a surprise; we’ve felt off for some time now. Our arguments have become longer,.
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