” Carol replied “When I walked into the pub I spotted you immediately, I wanted you to be Michael. When you weren’t, and I couldn’t find him I decided to check you out.”“Did I pass?” I inquired.“Almost immediately.” She replied. “I was attracted to your confidence and your humour, I could just sense someone yelling at me, decent guy alert. Your experiences of online dating cracked me up, they just mirrored mine. When you asked me out for dinner, I was won over, by your charm. It was like being whisked back to a foregone age, an age where chivalry and manners counted. An age where men weren’t afraid to be men and gentlemen stood out.”I was at a loss for words. I hugged Carol and kissed her. “When we were having dinner and I was enjoying your company and your appreciation of good things, that is when I decided I wanted to sleep with you. I was trying to work out how to engineer it when you rescued me from the cabbie from hell. After that, I was on my way back to my flat and a date with. She fiddled with her bra strap and tied it back on, ignoring my pointed looks. "This is Ivan and Jamie. They're from Australia. Guys, this is my husband, Tom."We each said hello to each other, although I wanted to hit them."They're selling this new kind of sun-tan oil. It's highly protective and good for the environment."I knew Sally was into Green issues, but I didn't see how this was relevant."They let me try before I buy, like. So could you buy a bottle for me." Sorry, I spent all the change I had on the beers, " I said. I wasn't going to pay them for feeling up my wife."Well. You can at least give them each a beer."Despite my better judgement I did as she asked. It was the last day of what had been a great holiday, and I didn't want to spoil things. What I didn't expect was that they would open the beer cans there and then and sit down beside us drinking them. "Shouldn't you be trying to sell more of that stuff?" I asked Ivan, the blond one."Nah, mate. We always finish around.
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