I ask myself am I that transparent, can people actually see right through me? Do they see that my heart beats that much faster when I think of him, that my world feels like it’s crashing down around my feet because I feel like I’m losing him or I’ve actually lost him.. I’ve only just wanted him to understand me, my life, my emotions that I’ve lived a life that has had its trauma and drama. Yes I am emotional, passionate, sometimes fiery in nature, when it comes to him, I say what is inside of me always. I only want to love him and give him my all and I am only asking to be given love in return. I will be whatever he wants me to be because I’ve accepted, resigned myself to the fact that it’s all I can have out of this relationship, nothing more or nothing less. I have so much pride and I don’t give up easily, I am telling myself that I won’t lose him. I cannot bear to think if I did that part of me will be lost with him and I will never be able to retrieve it again should we part. If ever there was a "FullXanax Moment" meeting your ex-wife at the airport for the first time as awoman to tell her that the child she's flown halfway across the countryto bring home has run off and no one knows her whereabouts is certainlyit. The half Xanax she'd dry-swallowed upon arriving at the airport anhour earlier had hardly had any discernible effect whatsoever. Now thatClaire's flight had landed and the passengers were deplaning, theadrenaline surging through Marcia's system was swamping whatever mildlysoothing effects the drug might have had up to now. Looking towards thecorridor where the passengers were just beginning to appear, she felt afull-blown panic attack literally right around the corner.Too late now to take another pill, Marcia was thinking, as her heartthumped in her chest. Too late to call Walt and admit that she'dreconsidered his offer of back-up. She felt like she was gulping airthrough a constricted straw. Suddenly, she didn't care if Claire feltoutgunned,.
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