With my heart pounding in my chest Iturned and walked into the bathroom.I hadn't been sure what to expect on my first road trip with thecompany, but this wasn't it. My senior sales manager had just given mea bottle of hair remover and a box with silicone stick on breasts. Iturned the shower on hot and quickly went to work. In minutes I wassmooth all over. The instructions in the box said to apply the glue tohot skin - the heat would ensure a good bond. Then to lay down holdingthe breast in place for a few minutes. I rubbed the glue on liberallyand pressed the heavy forms on firmly, and lay down. After a fewminutes I got up carefully. In the mirror was me, a tall, skinny 25year old blond kid, just out of university, with a spectacular set oftits!I went to the door of the washroom, my heart hammering and opened it.They had both been into the mini-bar, both head swivelled on me withhard eyes."Told you she'd look good," Brian muttered, wiping his mouth. Bertjust stared.I walked. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let’s try to improve this, shall we??Love, Your HubbyTo My Dearest Husband,I think things are a little.
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