His hand stopped rubbing his crotch and he pulled his phone from his pocket, one ofthose hot shit high end ones with a large display. He thumbed the lock screen off, and pressed thecontact button and the screen filled with all the same contacts in my phone, with a few I didn'tRecognize sprinkled between them. The same contacts from my phone, the one still in my jeans. In theBedroom. On the bed. My Mother and sisters. My boss and the guys at work. A few uncles and aunts, my grandmother... "Everybody. Will. Know. And it wont matter that it was 'done to you', but only that 'you did it'." Oh god, he was right. I'd never be able to look them in the eyes, they'd always see me layingthere in a puddle of jizz dressed like a slut with a hard on. I must have started sobbing because his face moved close to my ear again and he whispered "Shhh.They don't ever have to know, baby. Nobody ever has to know." He was patting my head again. "It canbe our little secret." He licked my. She saw me instantly, and began to rise, still holding him. She approached me just as our daughters caught up to me and came into the room. She held him out for me to take him from her, stepping aside so I could sit in the chair with him. ‘He’s gone.’ was all she could manage to say. In that moment, I made sounds I’d never even imagined I could make, I wailed and cried harder than I had ever thought was possible. Ryan, our youngest child and only son, my little boy, was gone. I held his limp form against my chest tightly, rocking back and forth in the chair automatically, not sure who or what that rocking motion was supposed to comfort or ease…in any case, it didn’t work. But then, in that moment, nothing could. Barbara was holding our now crying daughters, trying to get emotionally ahold of herself enough to comfort and tend to them as I absorbed the full shock of this most unwelcome and unexpected, devastating news. I kissed his head as I cried and sobbed. He was still warm as if.
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