And I weep, I cry with joy at being innocent again, at being whole again, I sob heavily as I realize that it was all just a bad dream and my reality, my true life is here in his arms, serving him, loving him, not the banal responsibility of working, studying, and keeping a house for the man who should be caring for me and his son. There is nothing sexual about this vision, this dream of happiness. It is very sensual, and incredibly loving, but his only thought is to chase away my troubles and drive back my fears, not sex. Just as I see myself sobbing and howling away the pain of life in these visions that Payne brings me, I find my own face wet. This is when I waken, leaving the half-dream that had brought those precious moments of peace behind, and now I am free to shed my own tears. I can wail and sob and cry – I can howl and lament to my hearts content. I have a reason – Payne has shown me what my soul aches for yet again, and once more reality reminds me of how far away these. Name your poison.’ ‘I’ll have whatever you’re having,’ I said. ‘I think I’ll have a beer. As they say, it’s five o’clock somewhere.’ I laughed and she went into the kitchen, returning shortly with two steins of beer. She set them both down on a coffee table in front of the sofa and sat down, From the side by side placement of the steins I deduced that she wanted me to sit beside her so I did. I took a taste of the beer and then another and remarked, ‘This is excellent beer. What kind is it?’ ‘It’s home made,’ she said. ‘Really? It’s excellent. You are a woman of many talents.’ ‘Thank you,’ she said, ‘it’s refreshing to meet a man with good taste.’ We sat and sipped and chatted. She was very intelligent and extremely witty, at least she laughed at all my jokes in the right places. We drained our first stein of beer and were halfway through our second stein when I said, ‘I haven’t had such a pleasant afternoon since I can’t remember when.’ She smiled and said, ‘Ditto.’ She turned to me.
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